historymaker7

Today is my final critique in this very very long and tedious drawing class.... It has been a mini journey as I have really discovered some new skills and strengths in myself. As soon as I get off of work I have to head home and prepare then get to school to set up! I feel so blessed to be finished, it has been really draining to get through this process Nick has pushed me through over the last two months. I will be posting tonight as well as I take photos at my showing. My confidence in my personal talent has grown exponentially as I have finished the work I have been working through.

So I realized that this feeling is never going to go away. That every morning I will wake up and feel the same dread cover me. To lose someone you see everyday is not something that is easy to get over. It hurts to get up, to move, to think, to laugh. Nothing seems right knowing you are not here. On my way to work today every song made me think of you. Walking in the door to work everyone asks me how I am like I am better all of a sudden or something... PLEASE! I lost my best friend how should I be.. better today, tomorrow, ever? I hate that question.. how are you? I want to just say I am shitty how about you. I am pale as ice and bitter as v

My sadness just eats at me. I can't sleep, I don't want to eat, I can't write or draw or sing. This I know is not the life you wished I would have or how you would want to me react now that you are gone. But I miss you. I feel like you were just taken without me being given the chance to see you, say what I need to say. I know you are finally home and one day I will meet you there but you memory lingers all over me, this pain overwhelms me. I can't go anywhere without thinking of you. Work, church, home... it's all the same, I shed a tear and wish you could be there. Holy week is almost up and I haven't even wanted to acknowledge God. I prais